Tired Mama with no clue

When plans change

I am one tired Mama. Having a lack of sleep impacts on absolutely everything. Mood, tolerance and appetite are where I feel it the most. It’s on days like these, that any ‘plan’ I might have had gets put to one side. Bye plan. I just need to try and get a nap in and do better than beans on toast for at least one meal of the day.

I really love getting a good routine for my day, so that I can plan ahead and know what I can achieve in the time I have either between the school drop off and pick-up. Planning anything around a small baby however, is, erm… mind blowing.

The ‘un-norm’ has been the new norm for me over the past week, and the small amount of time I had set aside for writing has now been squeezed into a very tired Mama deciding the proper blog writing must wait, and catching up on sleep and basic survival have been prioritised.

The perfect moment

The perfect moment doesn’t seem to come around that often. Right now, I am feeling slightly hurried, a bit anxious with a low level of annoyance that’s been gently grumbling away all week.

The best conditions for writing, yoga or relaxation are, of course, the ones that never seem to come around anymore. The simple uninterrupted, quiet space and non-harassed energy. Because these perfect moments are so rare, its now a case of making any time, space, place or harassment level that might work - work. Just got to start by doing.

This slower, just starting by doing meets much resistance in the beginning by has a much nicer pay off. Are Mamas putting off doing the good stuff? Is the keeping going taking over?

The ‘keeping going’ paradox

Keeping going even when you don’t feel like it is something I still do a lot, but much less after having worn myself into the ground so many times before. But really, who does it serve?

Some things just cannot wait, getting things ready for birthdays, holidays and events all have a time pressure that can’t be ‘left till tomorrow’. But realising if you’re keeping going for keeping goings sake – or keeping going for a very good reason are two completely different things.

Clear the decks

I have noticed that for myself and nearly my entire social circle are women who find sitting in mess really very stressful, the nagging feeling of knowing it will still all be there is a really big put off for doing any kind of Yoga or relaxation, guided or otherwise. Clearing the decks before doing a relaxation then becomes the job that is prioritised before the relaxation can take place.

Is this keeping going for keeping goings sake, or just a need to clear the physical space to allow the body and mind any hope of clearing themselves? Have we just ‘jobbed’ ourselves out of doing something that could be beneficial to our mood, mind and body because we spent longer doing the preparation work – there is no time left for the restful or relaxation activity we had planned for ourselves?

No clue what to do

I often start moving when I have no clue what to do, and sometimes surrounded by clutter. Suddenly, when you let your body lead the way something very interesting happens. You stop thinking about what to do (with yourself and the clutter), and just start letting your body tell you what it needs from moving.

Anyone can do this. It just takes the intention to do it.

I learnt this for the first time when I started doing a Yoga practice by myself at home when I was in a really low mood. My body and mind did not want to move and it was a battle between the internal voice talking them both into it. I had no plan, I just laid down with the intention of moving.

Starting off with no clue I let my body lead the way into small movements starting from a laying position, and gradually there were more and more natural moves, gently rocking, swaying and pulsing and stretching my way up to sitting and then standing.

No plan, just doing what felt good. Getting up to standing took 45 minutes and by the time I got there everything had changed. The voice inside was no longer fighting with the want of the body and mind to remain stagnated and isolated, and there was a sense of wholeness once again that reminded me why Yoga is good.

You don’t need to have a clue what you’re doing.

You just need to start by doing it.